Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 29th)

Throughout the day i felt some arousal and was often hard and God i could do with touching myself but in my mind i felt lost and empty missing that someone special, i haven't touched my cock since Friday night apart from when i shower,its strange i have missed touching myself over the last few days but its oh so different from being told to ,the excitement in my stomach,the gentle throb of my cock aching to be released from my pants,also knowing how long or how many times i am allowed to edge for,i miss it all so much and although i want to text all the time i hold back,so another Day passes and the days are adding up but i am still enjoying my chastity and i never thought i would ever hear myself say that

Monday, 29 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 28th)

So another day passes and I'm not counting anymore,i couldn't careless to be honest,my arousal is instant,I'm turned on easily but my feelings are elsewhere,and my thoughts too,i kept myself busy,and apart from seeing the odd nice bum,or heels with their familiar sound on the shop floor which gave me a slight feeling of arousal my mind was somewhere else along with my feelings and emotions,so tomorrow is another day and we will see what happens then

Sunday, 28 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 27th)

Today was oh so different from yesterday,i didn't get to feeling aroused at all.my thoughts,feelings and emotions were oh so far away from anything sexual,i felt something i haven't felt for such a long time and ever since i have been in contact with Miss "unhappiness"but i know that this feeling was brought on by myself,i tried to focus the mind on other things walking the dog shopping housework my van but each time my thoughts drifted back to the previous nights events so yesterdays feelings were very mixed indeed,i know i only have myself to blame but still feel gutted all the same,but i am still in chastity to Miss and that's one thing i can thank her for even if i hate myself for what i said

Saturday, 27 November 2010

A Very Sincere Apology

Please this blog is only directed at and for you Kat,but unsure how i can restrict it to just you.

Some of the things i said last night was so out of order i have no idea why i said them,you have never ever asked me of my situation in life ,so for me to say what i said was totally out of order and way off anything that we have discussed,i haven't got any excuses and know i have upset you with some of my comments,i just have no explanation for saying the things i did,that would come close for saying how sorry i am.
I realise that you always make time for me even when you are flat out,you make time for that little text,we have got on very well since we have started chatting and have quite a lot in common,i like your personality your humour and your friendliness your honesty and your integrity so for me to rant at you for no real reason was so out of Order,I am so gutted that i did and you must think I'm a complete twat even more than some of my stupid comments before.Its not for me to Question what you may or may not want and i just want you to know i am so so so so very sorry,

Orgasm denial (November 26th)

I awoke to find myself rather turned on,but that's nothing new,putting the kettle on in bare feet and on cold tiles certainly changed my arousal,during the day my thoughts and feelings changed from moment to moment her cock was aching and hard at times with thoughts going through my mind,i asked why i hadn't been allowed to touch for 10 days and was told because of irregular blogging and taking decisions that weren't mine to take,and since then because of no particular reason,in other words because Miss can deny me just because she can,and when i read that i was aroused and turned on again,her cock rigid and throbbing between my thighs just because of a few simple words on a text,am i focused on everything Miss writes,of course i am lol.Then out of the blue whilst at home i get a text "You can edge for 15 Min's from now,whatever time you waste sorting yourself out comes off that time....you do not get 15 Min's from the time you start you get it starting NOW" I thank Miss immediately and receive another text "I will text again when that time is up and you will stop immediately", I get myself sorted and lie on my bed,her nice thick cock is in my hand and rapidly getting hard erect and excited ,i stroke it and play with it,it feels so nice to play with it again,my hand slowly works it way up and down the shaft and doesn't take long to reach a full erection,I'm now wanking slowly and enjoying every moment,every stroke,every feeling that i have missed so much,before my chastity i sometimes wanked three times a day on some days,and here i was playing with it for the first time in 10 days,it wasn't long before it was starting to throb and my orgasm was getting close,so i stopped but i was nervous and not really concentrating and i never really reached a full edge,so i started again and this time to myself closer to the edge,and it was harder this time to control but control it i did,i was now getting really turned on,and her cock was getting wetter and wetter with each edge,i was in a world of my own,eyes closed my imagination running wild and my hand working her cock to a frenzy and as i laid there in a mind of my own the text came through to stop,i edged for a total of 7 times and 3 times i nearly didn't stop,but it felt fucking great and i was so happy once again,i texted my reply to thank her for allowing me to edge and gave the details as i have to do after every instruction Miss gives me,i was gutted when the text came through i could have played for hours but 15 Min's is better than nothing at all.I tidied myself and went and had some food and watched a little telly,before eventually going to log on again.sometime later I text Miss to ask if she was coming on line her reply was she will try to soon,and having read that text i got another "You can go edge some more....give you something to do for another 15 Min's starting NOW"i hastily replied that if i did edge i might not stop as i came close 3 times before and got a text back "Stop complaining and do as you are told!".i went back to my room and laid on the bed her cock was already excited and i started to wank again,it wasn't long before i had a steady rhythm going and i was reaching a full erection again,i don't know why but London buses popped into my head,none for ages and suddenly two at once,was Miss in good mood or was there more to it,Miss knowing my frustrations all week(perhaps Miss thought i wouldn't be able to control myself)my first wasn't long coming and was stronger than the previous edges i had earlier,the second followed quickly,by the time the fifth came along i started to feel more confident and held it together stopping starting and keeping the edge for at least 30 seconds god that felt good i will have to remember to do that again,but i had to stop cause it was getting on a knife edge,i was now back in sub space in a world of my own edging and stopping if felt so good but a text came through "Stop Now" i did think at one point no I'm going to carry on but reluctantly i stopped because i Knew Miss would be waiting for a text,I edged for a total of 9 times and enjoyed each one as much as i have ever before i do seem to get enjoyment from edging and also from the fact that Miss maybe thinking of me too as she is watching the clock,and for me that is one HUGE turn on

Friday, 26 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 25th)

My feelings haven't changed much since yesterday,i did have a text last night to tell me that watching porn and getting frustrated served me right and that i was getting any sympathy,i replied with i wasn't expecting any and got one back saying "Good then you wont want an instruction to edge will you either .....just as well",so matter of fact but so damn fucking horny when i read it,to think Miss could dismiss me as easy and as blunt as that caused me to be lost for words but knowing her comment made me feel so fucking lucky and fortunate to be in chastity control with her,its not just that one text its a lot of things she has said to me that has my mind racing her cock twitching,that nice warm feeling that i get from deep within,my emotions sent spinning into deep sub space and knowing if she wanted me to do any thing i would do it,i don't care she cant see me,i would just do it and i would never ever touch her cock with out her letting me

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 24th)

Maybe I'm starting to realise how Dominant and Strict Miss can be when it comes to my pleasure,as as yet no instructions at all,not that i deserve any or expect any,but my frustration and arousal is steadily building as each day passes,but i am starting to realise that when locked in a chastity device this is how it will be,and i can honestly say it will be a new experience that part of me is looking forward to and part of me is thinking how frustrating it will be,but also knowing that the Control Miss will have over me will be used fully to her needs and desires,as she can build my attentiveness and focus to suit her every need,and i will be as she wants me to be.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 23rd)

My depth of frustration is starting to build and did for most of the day,but last night it hit a new one even for me,i was researching some ruined orgasm literature and came across a video of a male being milked,there was none of dressed in PVC or leather actors it was a male secured to a bench so he couldn't move his lower torso and a female sat in trousers and t-shirt just wanking him,with steady hand movements up and down his cock,she held his balls with her other hand,after some time he moaned and came,but she didn't stop just the same movements,he came again and again she just carried on he was writhing in pain and pleasure but she just carried on,he was begging her to stop but she didn't,i think he came about 4 times and whilst i watched this Miss cock was getting harder and harder,i was aroused,i was hard,i was turned on,oh all i wanted was to hold Her cock in my hand but i knew i couldn't,it was at this point that the reality of being in chastity and having no say in what i want and need hit home,i felt like shouting but didn't.i felt like wanking too but i didn't ,and although i was fully frustrated i do still love living by her rules

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 22nd)

Frustrations are building steadily,arousal seems to be so much easier,whether its a thought in my mind,something or someone i see from afar,general text chat or online chat,reading up on subjects that i have been asked to read up on for my better understanding of certain practises and instructions that may or may not happen.So when i read how Bitchy and sadistic some Dommes are it makes me excited and aroused but having not touched Her cock for nearly 7 days I'm finding it hard to resist that one touch but resist i do,knowing that once I'm locked in a chastity device I'm not going to be able to even if i wanted to so i may as well get used to it now.I'm sure Miss knows the implications of asking me to read up on different subjects and knows the effect it will have on me.

Monday, 22 November 2010

Milking

I asked Miss about this subject because i have read about it and watched it but never fully understood the reasons behind being Milked and the implications that come with this ritual,i have now read up on the subject and realise,firstly it cures any foreseeable medical implications so being milked neither parties have to worry too much of any problems that may arise from medical problems,but it also denies the sub of any pleasure gained from regular milking.There seems to be various methods of milking,and every Female has there own way of Milking their sub, it seems some use it as Ritual ,some as a punishment,some as a hindrance to them selves and others as a way of pushing home the Control they hold over there sub,from a subs point of view the ruined orgasm is probably the most frustrating,but from the Females point of view just exploring different ways of extracting the subs cum without him having pleasure must be so enjoyable and also the pushing home of the amount of control they have over their sub and his lack of pleasure

Orgasm denial (November 21th)

My apologies to Miss first for not posting my blogs at the correct time and for not texting to confirm i have posted a new blog,my feelings and frustrations are building, my arousal easier to achieve,Her cock has been turned on with just thoughts and feelings towards Miss,recent discussions and questions i have asked Miss recently i will post in a separate blog,and my feelings towards the answers i have found,,My experience with Chastity has been a rewarding one so far as i have learnt so much more about the denial side of orgasms and how it makes me feel,how easy it is to edge and get turned on although frustration is clearly evident my arousal towards being denied i have found more enjoyable than i thought i ever would,

Sunday, 21 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 20th)

Four days in and not even a murmur as to being allowed to edge,Oh Miss can be so cruel at times but i have even more focus and desire to please her,i have learnt so much but so much is still to be learnt,i feel i have tried to understand her more and i hope she thinks i have a better understanding of how she wants me to behave at certain times, but there are times i ask stupid questions,and i feel stupid for doing so,after being told off for doing so,i feel i have come a long way from when we first started to get to know each other and i do strive to improve all the time,although sometimes it may not show that i do.

Orgasm denial (November 19th)

I'm starting to feel aroused again since i was allowed release,its strange how whilst in the period up to my release the slightest words, sentence in a text, and i was instantly in arousal and i am sure Miss was well aware of this fact,she knew which buttons to press and also that i would find it harder to edge for longer periods of time,and find it harder to stop the orgasms as they flowed freely and easily, with hardly any effort,I also now realise why Chastity is such a powerful emotion between two people.I would imagine it can be a mind blowing experience in real time and how it focuses the mind and submission,not knowing if and when or even being stopped just as you are about to climax,the hurt,humiliation and utter frustration must be something that isn't an enjoyment at the time but looking back and being told how One has the Control to do whatever she wants just because she can,goes to put any submissive deeply in their place.

Friday, 19 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 18th)

I find myself back to square one but strangely feel different this time i realise how fortunate i was to be allowed release,i feel aroused that Miss still Controls any future play i am allowed and this fact make me realise how lucky i am to have someone that cares enough to want to Control me in this way,I am a very lucky Submissive and am realising more and more the time my chastity is enforced and that any playing with Her cock is withheld or allowed,so my feelings of Focus and attentiveness may be not so high at the moment but is very much in my mind and feelings and are as strong for Miss as they were before my orgasm was allowed.

Thursday, 18 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 17th)

The start of a new day brings the start of a fresh Denial,and total frustration too,I'm frustrated because my first release for Miss ended in even more frustration for me because of my feeble attempt of an orgasm last night,and i don't know how long it will be before i get the chance again,but my feelings and attitude to Miss haven't wavered at all and although i didn't get to cum loads i know that my Chastity and denial goes on with a very Strict and Dominant Domme who i yearn to serve and submit to in real time.This i know will be when and if so all i can do is submit to her wishes and wait for the next Denial to end if it ever does

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 16th)

Well my day started quite well,i had already had an instruction to edge for 15 minutes the night before,first thing before i went to work,and i was aroused as soon as i got up,i played intently with myself and slowly too,enjoying every single second,each touch felt so blissful,and it wasn't too long before i was erect and hard,it seemed to twitch with every moving stroke,i was so happy and lucky that it my first edge happened withing 2/3 minutes i stopped it just and again as before each edge quickly followed the next and before i knew it it was close to getting ready to go a work so after 10 minutes i had to stop,but i still managed 6/7 edges in that short time,i text as i always do and the reply was why didn't you get up earlier so you could edge for the time that was specified not 5 Min's short,throughout the morning we kept in contact,and as i was approaching my break i was text an instruction"you can have one edge during your break" i at least had some notice so i could park in a safe and lonesome place,i ate my pasta and cake and started playing with my nice erect cock,twice in a day i thought how lucky i am,how nice Miss is,it didn't take that long before i edged but God did i nearly release i held on for all my worth to stop the orgasm,and only just managed to thankfully,again i sent the text that follows every edging session.
Later that night we text each other a few times and as i didn't feel too good i said i was having an early night,i was laid in bed exchanging the odd text when another instruction came through"Before you go to sleep i want you to release and i also want pics to prove that you have and as in your previous instruction you know what pics i want to see"i couldn't believe it an "ORGASM" at last,this time i didn't argue or plead not to do what was asked of me i just got on with it,i thought I'm going to end up with a handful,but was i heck as like,i played and took my time but i wasn't feeling 100% and i must have rushed it a little,it wasn't long before the wonderful feeling of an orgasm arrived it felt fantastic,such a welcome feeling i didn't have to stop i could just cum and cum,i was excited to see how much cum i could produce.Bang i looked at my hand and saw ......a fucking dribble......after 19 days of chastity all i could manage was a fucking dribble,i was gutted but took the pics as instructed,i thought to myself perhaps i should wait till the morning and try again to see if i could produce something worth taking a pic of but that would be deceitful and i have always been honest with Miss and i wasn't going to change now,the photos taken aren't that clear and i will have to practise how i take them for any future photo opportunities i am allowed to of course



Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 15th)

i woke up feeling frustrated and aroused but nothing new for me there then,its hard to describe how i feel,i know I'm not allowed to touch and have to try and put it to the back of my mind although with every passing day its getting harder and harder (excuse the pun)i like the feeling of being controlled in this way but at times feel very frustrated and i know the more i feel the way i do.the more Miss likes the control she has over me,we had exchanged a few texts during the day,and spoke at length on messenger during the evening which i always like doing its so enjoyable but in the end i had to ask permission to go to bed,and i was told i could but i was to edge for 10 minutes before i went to sleep,Miss knows this gets me all excited and i find it very much a turn on and arousing to be told to edge.I hurried off to bed and started to play with my cock,i stroked,i caressed and masturbated but couldn't seem to get it fully erect,although that didn't matter as my first edge arrived within 3 to 4 minutes and i kept it under control,but what did surprise me was how quickly the next and the next arrived more or less on top of each other,which made trying to stop myself cumming wasn't that easy but control them i did and after 10 minutes i stopped and went off into a deep sleep.I would like to say that my recent instructions have been to edge for 10/15/20 minutes at a time instead of when my chastity first started and i was only allowed to edge once at a time,now I'm so easily aroused i have to edge for longer but i have discussed this with Miss and its to push me further each time which is enjoyable but also makes me to be so careful when edging because i don't want to cum without instruction to do so.

Monday, 15 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 14th)

A day like yesterday with no instructions,i wonder if i have taken the wrong option ie to not release,as Miss seems rather distant, don't get me wrong i know she is an extremely busy woman and has lots to contend with and is fantastic how she copes with everything,but perhaps she wanted me to release so i could prove myself with taking pictures of my cum and licking it all up,i don't know,perhaps its just the way i feel after 17 days in Chastity,having never gone this long with out an orgasm,or just being able to touch and play with my cock would be nice but that is certainly not allowed.I do know one thing having not received any instruction has been of some relief as i am so going to struggle not to release when i edge,my frustration,is building, my need is building,but i am determined to withhold my orgasm,as i said yesterday if i cant do it now,whats it going to be like in real time,i am lucky too as i am yet to wear a chastity device,and the one i picked well you can guess what Miss thought,
Just Because

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 13th)

The reality of the night before starts to set in and harshly too,i wake later than normal and like a slut. i am highly aroused,my balls aching and full,my cock rigid,but i am not regretting not releasing as i need to know how it feels to be so close and yet so far,i receive a text telling me how Miss feels and what she likes and how i am to learn how to please her,which adds further to my frustration and my continuing chastity,I've never ever felt anything like this before in all my sexual experience, how i no longer have control of the basic sexual relief a male may have"masturbation" a simple act of pleasing yourself enjoying the sexual feeling of an orgasm,so basic,so enjoyable,the excitement of pulling my cock out and playing with myself,feeling how turned on i feel, but so far from my thoughts at this current moment in time,I try not to think of anything sexual but am reminded from time to time.
But I also realise something very important and also a very frightening thought this is the easy time of my current Chastity this is not happening in "real time"and that scares me but also excites me too,i know at the moment i can control how i edge,how far i take and push my edging,how close i can go"but that will change" at some point and someone else will be taking even that little control i have at the moment away from me and then i will see how good i can be,and i also realise that the same person will tease and distract me so i fail and she has an excuse to punish me for doing so,not that Miss needs an excuse to punish as i have been reminded of and all BECAUSE SHE CAN.Miss will have full control of even my basic function as a man

We have often spoke at length of Control Focus and Attentiveness and all three have fallen very quickly into place and i understand fully my position within those three words.Miss has the Control and all i have is focus and attentiveness and all i want from deep within is to show her i have learnt to understand just the basics

Saturday, 13 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 12th)

I awoke feeling frustrated and aroused,the feelings of arousal are so much harder to contain at the moment and come from deep within my mind and my soul, my stomach twists with excitement,the slightest thoughts,simple words on a text and just one word at times,remembering back to some of her comments yesterday or the day before,it all adds to the frustration i feel and need from my enforced Control,every day gets harder and my edging takes on a new light/experience,I'm finding it very easy to reach the edge but harder every time to stop,the next edge happens so much quicker and so much more intense my cock throbs to release to spurt my cum,to orgasm to let everything go but i stop it doing so,i sometimes think" fuck it "let it go Miss will understand (Miss wouldn't) but at the time your pent up sexual frustration  plays tricks with your mind and you start to believe anything just so you can release but up to Now i have resisted and will continue to do so as my Focus is so damn exciting at the moment and my desire is all on one "MISS"
So last night i was online waiting patiently for Miss we had exchanged a few texts throughout the day but alas she was very busy and unable to meet my "Fix"of hearing the phone go beep so i sat and waited thoughts going through my mind,my arousal was constant but enjoyable.Suddenly i had a text "go and edge for 15 Min's"if you are bored i will be online shortly,No hesitation was taken as i quickly pulled my cock from beneath my dressing gown it was in a high state of arousal from hearing the words go and edge,i was like a naughty schoolboy feeling really happy with myself so i wanked and all the earlier feelings came to light and before i knew what was happening i had reached my first test,the first of many edges,could i control myself, could i stop, did i want to stop,but somehow i did stop,but its now so hard to prevent an orgasm its becoming impossible at times,my cock jerks and is so hard at times busting to release,my breathing gets heavier and i moan to myself,the next edge arrives before the previous has subsided, i feel utter panic and my cock throbs to cum but i stop again,again and again i edge and eventually the 15 minutes are up,i breathe a sigh of relief,thank god for that i think i don't know how much longer i could have lasted.
I text Miss to thank her and tell her how much harder i was finding it to edge and stop and i get another text "its getting harder is it" Good "in which case go and edge some more until i text you to stop" My heart sinks but my mind is excited Does Miss not know how hard it is to keep stopping,does she want me to make a mistake and fail,all i know, in that one sentence my focus and attentiveness has shot up and i yearn to please her so i start edging again after every edge my cock throbs more and more,and leaks a little more making me very very wet I'm determined to complete with out releasing by mistake i don't want to try and stop and end up having a ruined orgasm,after 15 days i want to orgasm fully and enjoy every single moment of my cock releasing its juices properly,my phone beeps my emotions and feelings think thank god for that i look at the text my heart sinks again its not the stop text i was hoping for but one i wasn't expecting "the next time you edge you have a choice stop it or you can take yourself to release"
I have a choice i think to myself that's kind of her my cock twitches as if to tell me what it wants but I'm unsure do i really want to release (am i mad in another thought)but i quite enjoy my current state of mind my instant arousal of anything that reminds me of Miss my excitement at being told to edge,the thrill of trying to stop,the realisation that i one day i might not be able to stop,why oh why was i given a choice but again i am starting to find out more about Miss,then i realise there is something else at the bottom of the text "if you decide to release you will cum in your hand and photograph it,you will then lick your hand clean and photograph yourself whilst doing so" "its your choice".Whether it was because i wasn't expecting to read that or i was surprised to read it but my mind was racing and not thinking straight and after all my feelings and knowing how desperate i was to release i made a mistake,not that i thought that at the time but thinking back i know i fucked up big time,but again at the time i thought i had made the right decision and i said "i would rather not release" what a fucking idiot i was thinking back but i had made the decision and Miss wasn't going to allow me to change my mind before i knew it a text arrived "Fine stop edging now",at last relief i thought to myself but as time slowly passed i realised i had made a huge mistake but that's something i will have to wait to rectify,how long isn't my decision and that thought alone makes me feel wanted and not alone and i thank her for that.

Friday, 12 November 2010

Reflections

I was sat today looking at the rain as it hit the puddles,the leaves blowing off the trees and how cold it was when i opened the window,thinking to my self that winter has well and truly set in and how much i like a lot of other people hate the winter months,the dark mornings the dark evenings,i go into work in the dark and return home in the dark,Christmas is round the corner and approaching fast,I then realised that i no longer care about winter the cold,the snow,the high winds,i couldn't care less because i have a burning feeling from deep within,my face lights up,my hairs stand rigid on the back of my neck,i feel alive again and i have something no someone who has changed my thoughts my desires,my wants, my needs,and through my whole body i ache to please her every wish,she has taught me how to focus,and be attentive towards her,i need and want her control,i want to please her in any way she may wish me to,and to be thankful for being allowed to,I have something to look forward to this winter Fuck what the heavens may send me to face this winter,I have her to focus all my attention on and that's all i want to do and so given the opportunity that's what i will be doing this winter and every winter.

So Sod the winter

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 11th) 11.50pm

We had been chatting on messenger,and we had ended up on orgasm control i was telling Miss ho i was getting used to her denial of me how i found it such a strange feeling that although i was desperate to cum i also liked that she wasn't letting me for any reason she choose or just because she can and i enjoyed being denied and she casually said if that's how you feel then another day wont matter will it,i got so aroused at such simple words,and got that warm  feeling that i was being totally controlled and i was loving every single second of it too,i tried begging but i was banging my head against a brick wall,we carried on chatting and i asked permission to go to bed which was granted,and as we said goodnight to each other Miss said you can edge till midnight,i got an instant erection and was so excited and turned on i asked a few silly ?s and was told its 7 minutes now so go to bed like i told you and edge,i quickly got into bed and started playing with my very erect cock,i started wanking hard as i knew i didn't have much time,the feeling of holding my cock again was as special as it has become her property and she controls when how and where i can touch,this is also another part of her control i love,it didn't take long before my first edge was close i could sense the sweet feelings my cock was feeling and i knew i would have to stop very soon,i held it very hard as i felt my orgasm coming and i managed to hold it in,but my cock had become very wet indeed and as the orgasm subsided i started again,within a couple of strokes i was close again,i have never felt so turned on and horny as fuck as i have since my control was taken away,i had to close my fingers around the base of my cock very hard this time as i was sure i would explode,but again i stopped it,the 3rd one was even quicker than the previous two and by this time my cock was so wet with precum my hand nearly slipped off but again i managed to stop,i thought to myself should i just orgasm and tell Miss i had failed,I'm sure she would understand ,but no i decide that i would follow her instructions to the letter,4 and 5 were so close together too but i held it all in,then the alarm on the phone went off which was a quite a relief so i stopped and my erection started to subside.I make no bones about it i really enjoy being controlled in this way and hope that i can hold out for however long Miss decides i have to wait,i get such nice warm feelings inside knowing that i am pleasing my Domme by doing so,the text was sent the next day as i had asked permission to do so

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Orgasm denial (November 11th)

I had text Miss to say i was having 40 winks on my break,i got a text back saying i was lazy,i text back saying because i can (one of her sayings)i then got a text back "you reckon !" i replied with "reckon what" the reply was "that you are gonna have 40 winks"i replied "probably not"the reply from Miss was "you guessed right you are going to edge right now"i replied with "its not that quiet where i am parked" Miss replied "Tough you should be"so i lowered my seat put a coat up against the window and a newspaper on the steering wheel and undid my trousers,my cock was hard and slipped out of my pants quickly,i held in my right hand and rubbed it up and down,it felt so good as i hadn't held in my hand since Sunday,the tip was wet i text Miss asking permission to rub my finger over it and lick it i got a text back "No you may not"so i started to masturbate slowly and thinking of Miss at work knowing her sub was masturbating on his lunch break because she wanted him too,my hand started sliding up and down my shaft giving me the most sweetest feelings,i started to masturbate faster and i could feel my orgasm was close,when i edge i try to leave it to the last moment so i can feel the orgasm starting knowing that my fingers will be clamping down hard at any moment to stop me cumming,the feelings started and i could feel my cock start to pulse so i clamped down hard and only just managed to stop in time,its funny i quite enjoy edging pushing myself to the edge seeing if i can stop in time,i just hope the punishment i would get if i did orgasm wouldn't be too harsh but knowing Miss it would be lol,as always when i finished i text Miss to say i had done so and gave her the details as she demands i do

Orgasm denial (November 10th)

Miss and i had sent each other a few texts throughout the day and chatted happily on messenger on the evening for a few hours,all was well when Miss decided she wanted a drink and a sit down before going to bed,we exchange a few goodnites and my last message was come on the Blues for the Manchester Derby as she is a Man utd fan.Big mistake Huge in fact,i received a text saying that she had just read my yahoo message and was about to give me Permission to edge and release as i had been a good boy today and i was doing so well and ended it shame,i text back pleading with her but all i got was too late,my heart sank my cock twitched i was strangely excited and aroused even though i was being denied and i was so desperate to orgasm but i was also excited at being told i was but im not now,i suppose those feelings are special to a submissive in what they want is being told controlled and owned by there Domme,also the way it was put across ie i was going to allow you but because of that comment I'm not now.

Monday, 8 November 2010

Orgasm Denial November 9th

I awoke at 05.45 with another erection.but the thought of Miss with a smile on her face meant it wasnt going down that easy,but with negative thoughts it slowly decreased and i was able to get up,so i am now entering my 12th day under her control and its really biting in,the fact i can do nothing until i am told to do so,the texts i recieve and the messages that Miss sends to me seem to get me aroused at the slightest mention of any Control or suggestive thoughts send me into instant arousal so easy,i am realising more and more how attentive i will be when Miss has me in chastity.

Emotions and Feelings

Ever since i have sent memos,chatting on messenger and texting each other,i have been asked to put my feelings and emotions down so Miss can understand how i feel . well as a submissive that has found a Domme that will nurture him,help him,train him,hurt him,help him learn,explore with,explain to him why certain rules are for what reasons,introduce slowly the rules and rituals he will learn to obey and follow,all this makes me feel very special , wanted and controlled.The moment i was told my cock belonged to Miss my heart missed a beat,i had a warm feeling inside and i felt just like a naughty school boy when some one takes something away,i was filled with elation,but on the minus side when i have acted like a twat or written something that upsets Miss i get the feeling of rejection and i get depressed that i may have lost something i am so desperate to achieve,it hurts,and i feel vulnerable.silly little words and expressions set me off on a high because it has come from Miss and i would only ever feel the way i do with Her saying it.
So words like slut and boy make me so happy,excited and warm,do you need to ask that,the list is endless,also make me think wow i love my Domme i so want to please her in anyway she wants me too,something that was mentioned today was i will remember your answer when we are doing this in the future and it felt so loving and warm coming from her my Domme.
I have learnt so much from Miss since we started communicating to each other and realise now that i wasn't a true submissive to start with but with each day that passes and her help and guidance i realise where i am going and where i want to be in the future because i feel so special and lucky that i have found what i have searched a very long time for,i want to learn and show her She means everything to me as her sub and i will cherish the friendship we have started to build up between us.
Its hard to express feelings over a text or a message so hope that this may go someway to how i feel when we are in chat mode,i am learning all the time even with blogging but at least i am trying to get things down on here and make things clearer.
God your a slut made me feel humiliation but also joy and happiness and got me aroused too so is it the same for everyone i don't know but i do know it makes me feel wanted and loved and Taken for

Saturday, 6 November 2010

Orgasm Denial ( November 6th 09.00am)

today is my 9th day since Miss has taken control,we spoke on messenger last nite and i was hoping to read those special words,but,nothing as Miss bid me good night and i was teased too,perhaps Miss was going to text me but nothing so i went to bed aroused and frustrated .i woke up this morning with an erection but knew i couldnt even touch,frustrated or what,but excited to realise this will be the way forward.
23.00 Miss has exchanged a few texts but due to her having an early start in the morning Miss has retired to bed without a mention of allowing me to orgasm,so my frustration will go into a 10th day, arent i the lucky boy.
Sunday Morning 08.00 behaved myself last night but the want is getting stronger and harder to resist but i will try and hold out.
Wow Miss and i had been texting today and about 4.50 ish i got a text which read "you sound bored go and edge.......for 20 mins,well reading that got me all  excited,i replied with a thankyou and got back" go and edge before i change my mind" so i started playing with myself it felt so nice to touch my cock again and i quickley became very hard and i masturbated,it wasnt long, that my first edge came and i managed to stop,i carried on masturbating and by now each edge was so easy to achieve,but it became harder and harder to stop,when the 20 mins was up i stopped immedateley thinking how lucky i was not to orgasm,i edged 9 times and thanked Miss by text as soon as i finished and gave her all the details which i must do each time Miss allows me the pleasure of edging

Thursday, 4 November 2010

Chastity

This is something that is completely new to me,but i know that it will happen and i will be locked up by Miss as thats what Miss Wants,which i understand more now than i did before,Miss has had control of my orgasms since last Thursday evening,She has allowed me to edge on a number of occasions but i have to report back with a text to tell Miss how i felt,how aroused i was,and what i thought of when i edged.Miss has told me that it is the control she has over me that makes Miss happiest.Now i have never ever been controlled in this way before and at first it felt strange,but having the control of when you want or where you want to masturbate taken away has been one hell of turn on to me and i strangely like the fact that i havent orgasmed for 9 days now,i feel it makes me want Her control more and more,and more importantly to me i know its to Her liking as well
I was asked by my Domme to research and find reviews on Chastity devices so i can tell her which one i like best and then She will choose the one She wants me to wear so i have covered the majority of the ones advertised on various websites and compiled a list for Miss to choose from.
With my job i need to be able to urinate easily and discretely as i am a lorry driver so i need to find something that is versatile but secure as well
Having looked and studied these i have two favourites the Bon04 and the ringed cage but unsure which one to pick,i think i would pick the Bon04 but that isnt my choice so i will wait and see what Miss thinks is best for me.

Bird locked
these are made of silicone rubber and can tear,its one size fits all,and is very easy to get out of so again whats the point of being able to pull out,i cant see Miss knowing i can pull out lol



cb 3000
3"long and 1 1/4 " wide these have various reviews some good and some not so good,they are made from polycarbonate which makes them lightweight to wear,but have a tendency to crack and be very painful if the skin catches,and  painful additions are the points of intrigue to add more discomfort




cb 6000
 3 1/4" length width 1 3/8"
I seem to see the same problems with the 3000 and the 6000 that they all tend to crack or split,and quite a few say they can pull out,which i cant see why anyone wants to pull out,if so why wear them.




the curve 
3 3/4" length width 1 1/2"
its easier to sit down to urinate,so might not be ideal for me but a nice looking device




Houdini 2 cock lock
3"length and 3 1/4" length,width 1 3/8"
this device looks very awkward to wear,and will only operate with a key,i like the look of the device but i dont think its that practicle




 Locking cock cage
The approximate length of the small cage is 4.75", and the approximate length of the large cage is 5.75". When you consider that the base strap goes at the base of the cock behind the balls, these lengths are fairly short. These cages will not interfere with urination, but we can't say for sure whether they would stand up to a bath or shower.
this cage looks nice,but unable to wash isnt



The Ringed cage
  • Material: Stainless steel
  • Size:5 Ringed: Inner Diameter: 3.4cm Length: 9cm Weight: 110gms (Without Lock)
  • Size: 7 Ringed: Inner Diameter: 3.4cm Length: 13cm Weight: 130gms (Without Lock)
  • Includes: 3 keys and 1 padlock per cage
i would think with this cage being open its quite easy to keep clean and would give plenty of ventilation and might be better for long term use






Bon 4
Approx. 4.3 (111 mm) inches in total length; internal cage length approx. 2.5 (65 mm) inches in length; cage opening approx. 1.4 (35 mm) inches. Ring sizes are approx. 1.6 inches (41 mm), 1.9 inches (47 mm), and 2.1 inches (52 mm)
this looks like quite a decent device,lightweight but does its job

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

memos

So what brings me here,
Well it started months ago when i noticed a striking profile on a website called i.c.,i read and reread the profile and realised that Miss was the one i liked the sound of and all of Miss interests matched mine (naively now lol) to some degree,there were some likes that i thought yes well see but more or less i liked Miss profile a lot,So i thought to myself i need a catchy headline to catch Miss attention,so i thought of one and sent a memo and i got a reply, this was on the 9/10 of October,we exchanged memos over a couple of days and i was being drawn more and more to Miss thoughts wants and desires and quickly realised along with a lot of help and guidance from Miss that i had only ever played at submission in the previous 15 years i had been in the scene and never explored it fully to discover my true inner feelings,.

We exchanged email addresses and have spoken on messenger quite a bit,discussing wants desires and other topics and i am smitten with her Dominance,her Personality and her all round Friendship which i hold very close to my heart,Her Dominance seems to know no boundaries and although i had said previously Her wants in Her profile werent all what i was looking for,i am quickly learning that in fact they are my wants too,and together i am looking forward to exploring them all with Miss and more,the list is endless as Miss keeps telling me and they are too,.